So this fall I met cancer, as it were, from a considered position, but it still knocked me for a hell of a loop, having to deal with the pain and the fear and the death I thought I had come to terms with once before. I did not recognize then how many faces those terms had, nor how many forces were aligned within our daily structures against them, nor how often I would have to redefine the terms because other experiences kept presenting themselves. The acceptance of death as a fact, rather than the desire to die, can empower my energies with a forcefulness and vigor not always possible when one eye is out unconsciously for eternity.
Everything that lives leaves traces of itself in the air, and that same air moves in and out of lungs, is taken in by pores in green leaves, and is carried around the globe. Just by breathing, we interact with all of life.
It’s easy to think that Democrats and Republicans have different values, because they favor different policy solutions. But the only difference is which values we prioritize when we have to weigh them up against each other. For example, Republicans who want to secure the US border aren’t blind to the plight of immigrants (benevolence) but may value security as a higher good. Democrats who want to open the border aren’t blind to the dangers of criminals entering the United States (security) but may value caring for immigrants more.
The method I chose for Inktober was not working for me! I run into this problem every year, it seems, getting caught up in looking at other people’s posts on social media and feeling inadequate, stodgy and uncreative, and losing the motivation to participate.
The solution I came to last year was to remind myself of the goal: to build the habit of drawing more often. That’s it.
This time, I also thought about the things that made me fall in love with the Zentangle method when I first discovered it in 2015:
The focus on process, not outcome
There are no mistakes, only surprises
Simple, repetitive patterns that are easy to draw, calming, and look terrific when combined
After feeling bad long enough, it occurred to me that, since I chose how to participate in the first place, why could I not change course when I wasn’t getting to the calm place of enjoying pen on paper?
A random number generator gave me a set of 31 numbers between 1 and 179 — 179 being the number of official Zentangle patterns on the list curated by Linda Farmer of tanglepatterns.com, a fantastic site I’ve loved since 2015.
I use the random numbers to pick a pattern each day. If the corresponding pattern doesn’t have a link to a stepout on the tanglepatterns site, I move one position up or down on the list to a pattern that does. Ten minutes later, I was drawing and grinning again, my angsty insecurities forgotten. As it should be.
Tiles to come! I hope Inktober is going well for you, and if not, that you find a better path to your desired destination.
Rebel XIII 
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